If her husband is cheating, then turnabout is fair play, right?

You’ve probably heard about Ashley Madison, the dating site that caters to married people who are looking for a little action on the side. Earlier this year, I signed up, had an affair, and decided to write about my adventures.

In a few simple words, the site works. If you’re attached but are looking for that “something extra,” then you can absolutely find it via Ashley Madison. Of course, nothing is ever as easy as the advertisements suggest. That’s why I’m going to give you the low down (based on my own experience). While I recommend the site, there are a few caveats that you should keep in mind to keep your expectations more… realistic.

7 Reasons in a Nutshell

1. It’s an efficient way to meet people looking for the same thing you are.
2. It doesn’t cost a thing to sign up.
3. They (almost) guarantee you’ll have sex if you use their service.
4. Life is short. You deserve to meet someone who will make you happy.
5. What your partner doesn’t know won’t hurt them.
6. Dating is a numbers game, and Ashley Madison has the numbers.
7. Yours truly has tried it, tested it, and recommends it based on personal experience.

That’s the basics. Like I said, all in all, I recommend the site. But let’s take a closer look at each of those points so that you’ll have a better idea of what exactly you can expect.

1. It’s an efficient way to meet people looking for the same thing you are.

Log in any time, cruise the listings of the opposite gender according to whatever criteria you prefer, and then leave messages for people who catch your attention. You’ll receive an email message as soon as your latest interest replies. If you’d rather not wait, you can see who’s online with you and invite people into one of Ashley Madison’s private, instant chat rooms.

Want to hunt for a little “something something” while you’re out and about? They have a complimentary app for your mobile device to make your surfing more convenient. Going out of town? You can search your destination city in advance of your trip and solicit the locals for some extramarital fun. Unless they actually delivered women (or men) to your doorstep, I’ve got no idea how Ashley Madison could make their service any more convenient.

The down side, of course, is that you’re only going to meet people who’ve signed up for Ashley Madison accounts. That makes for a narrower field than other meet-and-greet venues.

2. It doesn’t cost a thing to sign up.

Signing up is free! Anyone can create a profile and browse to their heart’s content, checking out the availability of local candidates for illicit affairs.

That, however, is where the equality ends. Once you’re in, the ladies will be free to send messages, winks, and flirtatious digital gifts. The men, however, are going to have to pay to receive those opening moves. That seems unfair–and it is. Keep in mind that Ashley Madison is a business first and foremost, and we all know that women seldom pay for sex. Men, on the other hand, will pay ridiculous sums for it. Fortunately, the folks at Ashley Madison aren’t trying to drain your bank account. You’ll pay a one-time fee for each conversation you either initiate or accept. Talk to a  few women, and your costs will remain low. Talk to every set of tits that catches your eye, and you’ll be shelling out some serious cash. (Reduced rates for big spenders are available.)

This inequity isn’t all that different from real life. If you’re a guy, you’d expect to drop a few bucks on drinks in exchange for the privilege of chatting up a woman in a singles’ bar. It’s the same situation, only in digital form.

Unlike real life, most women on the site have no idea that conversations cost the guys anything. I stuck my proverbial foot in my proverbial mouth several times before I clued in to misconception. Just be classy enough to not draw attention to the fact that the conversation costing you money, fellas. Trust me, you’ll get a lot farther with tact than you will with whining.

3. They (almost) guarantee you’ll have sex if you use their service.

The folks at Ashley Madison are so confident that their site works that they’re willing to offer a money-back guarantee. Personally, I believe that they’d honor it, should it ever be invoked.

Like all things in love and business, however, there is some fine print. Namely: you have to try. If you act like a troll or simply lurk about, waiting for pussy (or dick) to fall into your lap, you’re going to be out of luck. (In more ways than one.)

Need an example? When I started cruising the site, I hadn’t been in the dating game for almost two decades. My flirtation skills were somewhat, ah, rusty. Despite a few clumsy starts (see “Women don’t pay for anything,” above), I had significant chats with half a dozen women, met three, and had some pretty hot sex with one–all in the space of about six weeks.

4. Life is short. You deserve to meet someone who will make you happy.

An affair might or might not make you happy. Your results may vary.

The guarantee is that you will have an affair, not that you will enjoy yourself.

5. What your partner doesn’t know won’t hurt them.

Actually, it might. STI’s, divorce, and jealousy can be very real–and very unpleasant-–consequences.

Ashley Madison provides no warranty about the quality, health, or mental stability of the people you’ll be interacting with. As with mingling in meat space, you’ll need to keep your wits about you, ask questions, and trust your instincts. You’ll also want to know what your safer sex requirements are so that, when the time comes, you’ll be prepared to enjoy some (hopefully) hot, slippery fun without infectious consequences.

When I started cruising the site, my wife knew and approved of my participation. Not everyone is that lucky, though, so you’ll also want to think long and hard about what might (or might not) happen if your partner discovers you’ve been cheating on them. Is that piece of action really worth the hassle of marital strife and the mess of divorce? Maybe, maybe not. That’s a question you and your new playmate(s) will have to answer for yourselves.

6. Dating is a numbers game, and Ashley Madison has the numbers.

The sooner you sign up, the sooner you can start having this kind of fun!

I have no idea how many people there are registered on the Ashley Madison site. All I know is that, last time I looked, there were more than 50 women within 20 miles of my zip code who were all looking for some extramarital fun. There might be more or fewer candidates in your area. People who live in remote, rural areas should of course expect to have slimmer pickings. (But then, they’d be used to that, wouldn’t they?)

For best results, be prepared to approach and chat with a lot of people. Conversations will falter for all sorts of different reasons: the other person got a funny feeling; they were skittish about being on the site in the first place; the moon wasn’t the correct color; etc.. When it comes to hitting it off (and getting it on) there are so many variables that it’s impossible to pick which potential play partners will pan out and which will fizzle.

If you keep several fingers in the pot, so to speak, your chances of scoring some honey will be pretty good. (Remember, success is guaranteed… but only if you try!)

7. Yours truly has tried it, tested it, and recommends it based on personal experience.

I’ll write about the details another time. For now, just trust me. Ashley Madison works, and the sooner you get started, the sooner you’ll be scoping out potential play mates who are looking for the same thing you are–a little adventure on the side.

Per the VotK website, "Chelsea is part of the Pittsburgh Tigers a private zoo shut down in Western Ohio. "

Valley of the Kings

You might be aware that there was a tragic event in Ohio a few weeks ago. A man released dozens of exotic animals into the wild and then shot himself to death. While the man’s suicide is a tragedy, the part that concerns me (for purposes of this post) is the fact that there are no wild areas near Zanesville, Ohio–at least none that can support lions, tigers, bears, and other exotic animals the man kept as “pets.” Lions, tigers, and bears (literally) had to be put down ((read “shot and killed”)) by sheriff’s deputies in order to protect the local human and domestic animal populations.

Enter Eithrael Viola and the Valley of the Kings Sanctuary & Retreat (VotK). Eithrael, who writes for the Liquid Whispers blog from time to time, maintains a permanent link to VotK in her blog’s sidebar. Both as a display of gratitude for the help Eithrael’s given me on this blog–and also as a way of preventing further animal massacres–I’ve gone ahead and donated another $25 to VotK.

A partial screen shot of my Paypal account

So what is VotK? Per their website:

Valley of the Kings Sanctuary and Retreat provides a home for abused, abandoned, retired and injured large felids, exotics, and domestic non-human animals.

We give the best available diet, housing, veterinary care and positive human interaction. Valley of the Kings educates the general public concerning the bond between human and non-human animals in the natural world.

We teach that private or commercial ownership, hunting for profit or sport and the destruction of natural habitat will mean eventual extinction for these creatures. Lastly, we believe that when we remove animals from the wild, we take their freedom and wildness, the essence of their being.

That’s a mission statement I can mostly get behind. The only exception I would take would be to point out that, without sanctuaries such as VotK to protect animals from hunting and the destruction of their natural habitat, then non-human animals will be doomed to extinction for sure. I certainly don’t see an end to reckless human behavior coming any time soon.

I doubt my $25 donation is going to make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. It’s a pretty small amount, after all. But it doesn’t have to be. If you’ve got a little cash that you could kick toward the cause, too, then it wouldn’t take long before a small amount here and a small amount there could begin to add up to substantial money. And money (combined with the hands-on efforts of activists who run VotK) really can tip the odds in favor of a brighter, better future. Click here for a bunch of ways you can help.

Satchel & Jara, a couple of royal residents at the Valley of the Kings Sanctuary

Reminder: I’m still accepting ideas for where to send next month’s Karma Credit money. Send me a message via Twitter or email. Tell me about your favorite worthy cause!

Animal photos used in this post came from the Valley of the Kings’ website.

For her, I would give and give and give and...

PETA

As promised in my last “Karma Credits” post, I’m giving money to PETA. As you’ll recall from that post, I wrote:

I’m going to donate a flat $25 now and then again in November. Why wait until then? That’ll give me six weeks to sell lots of porn—enough that the proffered 20% will be much more than $25.

As it turns out, I didn’t sell any porn since I wrote that post. Not one single membership. (Boo-hoo.) Nevertheless, I’ve had  terrific fun reading and writing about porn and, as this blog is still rolling along, I went ahead and donated another $25 to PETA. That’s not the hundreds of dollars I was hoping for but it’ll have to do.

Name removed, but that is indeed the receipt for my donation.

So that’s that. Promise kept, worthy cause supported. On to the next donation!

What’s Next?

Being that the holiday season is coming up, my phone has been ringing damned-near off the hook with various charities and near-charities ((read “Do-good organizations that are not tax-exempt”)) asking me for money.

Obviously, I like to give cash to help people fight the good fight. That said, my funds are finite, which means I can’t give to everyone who gets their fingers on my phone number. What I can do, however, is toss the question out to you: To what charity (or other worthy cause) should I make December’s donation? Toys for Tots is an obvious contender, but there have got to be other worthy organizations I’ve never heard of.

Leave a comment below or send a message via my Contact page. Tell me about your favorite charity or worthy cause. If I like it, I’ll direct December’s dollars that way. I’ll also write a blog post about it, thus providing some much-needed (and free!) publicity.

I’m looking forward to hearing what kinds of causes you support! In the meantime, thanks for reading the Liquid Whispers blog. Please accept my best wishes for a peaceful, blissful holiday season.

Jim

Freshly showered and shaven, Marena prepares the finishing touches.

Marena prepared herself according to Dominic’s instructions. Being a good submissive, shes slid her freshly shaven legs into the stockings he had provided.

She has instructions to be good. She's curious to find out what will happen.

Marena knew that Dominic was new to the bondage and discipline scene. Her Mistress had admonished Marena should go out of her way to make sure that he enjoyed himself.

The posture might be submissive but the smirk is definitely defiant.

As he approached, she turned in her special chair and presented her back side, ready for the play to begin.

Although she knew better, Marena still looked over her shoulder and checked Dominic out. There was no way he would be as good as her Mistress, she decided. She doubted he’d even be able to make her come. Nevertheless, she had her instructions.

All right, she thought as Dominic cleared his throat. Let’s see what you’ve got.

Photos by Met-Art

The famous Blogoporno logo

This week, it’s time to show your “O” face as we sit around the Virtual Kitchen Table and chat with Cyrano Jonze, proprietor of Blogoporno and a few other sexy blogs.

Cyrano was one of the first online acquaintances I made when I began blogging two years ago. He freely shared advice and link-love that helped give me a leg up in Liquid Whispers’ earliest days, which means he’s at least partly responsible for the degenerate I am today fact that I’m still here, still blogging, and still awesome.

LW: “Cyrano Jonze.” That sounds like a nom de porn. Is it and, if so, how’d you come up with it? What does it signify?

CJ: “Nom de porn” sounds like a name I use while doing porn. Unfortunately (for me), I am involved in no porn production so I feel like nom de porn is, perhaps, not the best way to refer to it. Nom de pervert? Nom de voyeur? Nom de blog? But yes, to actually answer you question, it is a lie.

How did I come up with it? It’s been a name floating in the back of my head for years. I’m a big Star Trek nerd. Cyrano Jones is the man who sells Tribbles in the classic episode “The Trouble with Tribbles.” It seemed a thematically appropriate name to use for porn blogging.

LW: You’re a Star Trek nerd? What’s your favorite iteration of the Star Trek franchise? Least favorite? Please elaborate.

CJ: I grew up watching Next Generation. I am a pretty big fan but not a “dress up and go to conventions” fan. At least not since I was about 13. I still watch it now that all the existing series are on Netflix Instant Watch.

My favorite iteration of the franchise is the six movies based around the original series characters. I like all six movies for different reasons. That includes the much maligned odd-numbered movies that are often dismissed. I have this whole thing about the movies basically thematically revolving around the idea of what happens when heroes get old.  When they’ve had their adventures and survived, defeated their dragons and brought home the prize, what happens then?  The first six Star Trek movies are the last part of Beowulf. That’s what I like about the movies and what I think the Next Generation films are missing.

My least favorite iteration of the franchise is Voyager. It was everything bad about the franchise crammed into a single series. Despite having a woman captain it manages to be more sexist than the original series (something you really would have to work at, honestly). Women on the show tended to be wildly irrational (Torres), Barbie^(TM) dolls (Seven of Nine), or overbearing and ultimately incompetent mother figures (Janeway). At least that’s my take on the show. I could be wrong. I admit to not having watched every episode, though. I’ve tried to watch the episodes friends who defend the series point to as examples of it being good. It just never clicked with me.

LW: When we first met, you were spelling the name “Cyrano Jones.” You now spell it “Cyrano Jonze.” When did you change it, and why?

CJ: About a month ago, I think. I wanted to fancy up the name a bit. Move it a little bit away from the nerdy Star Trek reference it was. Now it’s a Star Trek reference and a reference to Director Spike Jonze. Also, everything is cooler when you replace “s” with “z”.

Blogoporno Model O the Month Ash Hollywood

LW: You run an adult-themed blog. How did you get started, and what made you decide to begin working with adult material?

CJ: I got started way back in the year 2007. Because I’m such a trendsetter, I was laid off from my job before the economy really started going to shit. I had tried a few different approaches to blogs but never really got anything going. I decided one day that I should blog about what I’m doing anyway, as that seemed to be what all the cool kids were doing. And what was I doing? I was looking at porn. So, I started a Blogger blog and it has been evolving ever since then.

LW: Your site is impressive, but it’s not the only place one can find free porn. What sets you apart? Why should people spend time on your site rather than somewhere else?

CJ: Well, I would say, for one, because I’m not just trying to serve up “free porn.” My goal (today) isn’t exclusively about giving you free boobs to wank over.  I try to share what I consider the best. I share a lot and link to where you can get more. I don’t believe that we should all just get all the porn we want for free. Porn is a business and the people who do it should be paid for the work they do. I want to point people to the porn that I think is of a higher quality or to the performers that I enjoy. I want to see those people well compensated for their work.

I slip sometimes and share things that are just convenient or that I think people want to see, but the blog is an evolving entity and I try to keep focused on what I consider the best. This is why I like to promote people like Camille Crimson and Richard Avery and sites like Juliland and the other sites and blogs in the Juliland universe. I want to share the best or most interesting.

I do interviews (like this one). So far I have done interviews with Camille Crimson, Lilyanne Bloom, Samantha Bentley, Diana Prince, Vicky Vette, Misti Dawn, and Richard Avery. I’m not going to say my interviews are groundbreaking or really that in-depth but I strive to make them different. These aren’t just your standard porn star interviews. I don’t care how much they like sucking cock, I don’t usually care how they got into the business. I want to interview only the people who interest me. Usually, these are people who’ve struck out on their own on some level or who are vocal about some aspect of the industry that others inside don’t talk that much about. I tend to prefer to interview people who aren’t as well known and I like to focus on who they are beyond the porn.

That’s what you’re getting that others might not be offering. Quality and an ethos.

LW: That’s an impressive list of interviews. Who was your favorite? Why?

CJ: First of all, they’re all awesome and I love all the interviews they gave. Second, I hate picking favorites. I’ve nearly gotten into fights over not having a favorite color. (Seriously, I don’t have a favorite color).

If I HAD to pick, I would pick my interview with Diana Prince, because it appeals to my nerdy side. Plus, I find her perspective on the “MILF” niche and being identified as a MILF or “mature” by the industry interesting. She’s barely over 30!

But everyone else was awesome, too. I just posted a new one with my Model O the Year, Samantha Bentley, and I think she had some fun answers. Camille Crimson and Lilyanne Bloom were also amazing and I love Misti Dawn’s interview (also for nerdy reasons). Vicky Vette was also interesting and I have to give her credit for what she does on her own and her amazing Twitter presence. She knows how to work Twitter.

Blogoporno Model O the Year Samantha Bentley

Other than the ladies I was also really excited to interview Richard Avery. Juliland is amazing and his work is phenomenal. Sometimes I consider making my blog exclusively Juliland content, I love it that much.

LW: You’ve already answered this next question (at least in part) but screw it, I’m asking, anyway. Do you consider yourself a pornographer? Smut peddler? Affiliate marketer? Writer? What does a typical day look like for you?

CJ: I’m not a pornographer (though, I’d love to shoot a short porn film some day). I consider myself more of a smut peddler and I guess I’m technically an affiliate marketer, though my interest is less in pushing the affiliate programs and more in providing good content (that, hopefully, can make me a little money). I used to write more on the blog but everything else I do on it takes up so much time, I just don’t have the energy for it anymore.

A typical day working on the blog involves me waking up and skimming through email notifications and twitter. Twitter is a big part of what I do and I try to be communicative and friendly on there. Then, it’s checking a schedule I have made up to try and make sure all my daily and weekly posts are up to date and not lapsing soon. That’s the most time consuming part of what I do. I’ve made this gig much harder by having defined posts every day. But I like having them and I think the readers like them. I sometimes lapse and something will slip for awhile and if I think people don’t really dig one of the daily post themes I re-evaluate whether or not to use it. Then, I stare at my stats and wonder if someday I’ll actually start making enough money off doing this to justify my time investment.

Actually, now that I think about it, I’m probably going to scale back my daily posts and switch to a weekly format, to give myself more time to blog and share more beyond those regularly scheduled posts.

LW: “Success! You made it! You arrived!” What does that mean to you?

CJ: Success would be the blog covering my rent monthly. Also, if I could be posting short naughty films I make (filmed by me, not starring me) with some of my favorite stars on a regular basis, I would consider that success.

LW: Ben & Jerry’s ^(TM) is coming out with a new flavor of ice cream based on your sex life. What’s is called? Please describe it.

CJ: This is hard. Um. Let’s call it: Married Without Children. It would be vanilla with a chocolate swirl and just a few nuts. It would come in a container with its own spoon so you can eat it anytime in any room you want. Random packages of it have another flavor layered on the bottom. Just to vary it up every once in awhile.

LW: Let’s get back to porn. You’d like to shoot a porn film some day? Cool! Have you taken any steps toward making that happen? Any experience with photography or filmography?

CJ: I think shooting a porn of some kind would make an interesting challenge. Or maybe not so much a “porn” as a “film with explicit sexual content” (which is typically classified porn). I have taken no steps to make this happen. Outside of doing my blog I am an experimental filmmaker. By that I mean I make odd short movies that probably don’t make much sense and no one sees.

While I would love to shoot something, I don’t really have the funding to make a porn and I don’t think anyone would be that interested in something I made. If there’s someone out there who wants to give me the money and produce it with me, then I’m ready to go. Let’s do it. Hopefully, someone out there will dig it.

LW: Your blog is an evolving project. Do you have an end goal in mind? What about an exit strategy? How will you know when (or if) it’s time to stop blogging?

CJ: Not really an end goal but the overall goal is to make it profitable. I would like to, eventually, back off from working on the day-to-day of the blog and bring in other people to work the various aspects of it while I served more as an editor. That will take a lot of coordination to get off the ground, though, and just maintaining the blog as is takes too much time for me to start working on that.

My exit strategy is to just stop creating new posts. Let the posts I have scheduled continue until they’re gone, then, eventually, delete the site and all my profiles out there in the porn universe and disappear. It would be nice if there was someone out there who wanted to buy the blog and domain and everything associated with it from me, but I don’t think that’s in the cards, really.

I’ll know it’s time to stop when I just don’t have time for it anymore or when it becomes more work than it’s worth. I’ve almost quit a few times but I’ve come back. Eventually, I just won’t have the time or energy to keep it going.

LW: You have at least one guilty pleasure. Name it. Describe it. Tell us how we can have a similar experience.

CJ: I have lots of guilty pleasures. But the one most appropriate for this conversation is that I love fucking when I could get caught. Or really any sexual activity when there’s a danger of someone interrupting it. And I don’t mean someone who would want to get in on it all sexy; I mean the sort of situation where everyone just gets embarrassed and apologizes and doesn’t know what to do. I love that.

Fun instances of that have included that an ex and I pretty much screwed around in every parking lot of my home town. Sex only a few feet off of a heavily used trail in a busy public park. Fucking my wife in the bathroom at a relative’s wedding. Fucking my wife while waiting for people to show up for a party. Fingering my wife in the back room of a party with the door wide open. Fucking in a friend’s bathroom during a Halloween party. Fucking while we have visitors staying with us in our little Brooklyn apartment. Fucking and not knowing when our roommate was going to get home. There are other instances I’m sure that just aren’t coming to mind right now.

How can you have a similar experience? Next time you throw a party start fucking about ten minutes before people are supposed to show up. Next time you’re at a party wait until it’s really busy and sneak off to the bathroom. Best to wait until after people have started drinking so you know someone might need the bathroom. And I’m sure you can figure out lots of other fun iterations. Road head is always a good option.

Lexi Belle seems to agree; Road head is always a good option.

And there you have it! Want more of Cyrano and his work? (Of course you do.) Check him out at:

• His main site, Blogoporno.com (obviously)
• Either of his two Twitter accounts, @Blogoporn or @CyranoJonze
• Any of his several Tumblr blogs: Blogoporno Tumblr, Cyrano Jonze, or Fuck Yeah, Curvy Girls

There is magic in the chemistry between these two.

Do you know what the most amazing thing about this photo is?

It’s not the graphic display of Tab A sliding into Slot B. You can go to a million other sites to see that. What makes this photo magical is the connection between these two lovers.

Max and Lillian Bloom (pictured) aren’t just strangers fucking for money. They’re a real-life couple who’s known and loved one another for years–long before they started recording their copulations for our voyeuristic pleasure.

The emotional connection that these two share is so palpable that you can almost feel it in your own heart, in your own flesh, in your own bones. It’s there in every photo, video, and love note they record for their website. It’s the kind of intensity that makes it easy to imagine that you’re in the scene–not just fucking the flesh, but really connecting on a soulful level.

Isn’t that much better than typical porn? Of course it is. Go visit their site right now to see more examples just like this one.

Photo by Pornographic Love

This photo looks like it was lifted from a life-drawing art class–which makes me think I should sign up for a life-drawing class. Purely for artistic reasons, of course.

Of course a sculpting class would be nice , too. Especially if I happened to “forget” my glasses that day. I’m practically blind without them. Would have to let my hands do the seeing for me.

[sigh] Yeah, that’s a pretty convoluted plan. Would probably be a lot easier just to ask her if I could touch her tits.

Photo by FEMJOY

Who is Eithrael Viola? She's someone we all want to know more about!

Today I’ve got Liquid Whispers contributor Eithrael Viola joining me at the virtual kitchen table, answering deep and probing questions about what makes her tick.

LW: “Eithrael Viola.” Is that a nom de plume (pen name)? How is it pronounced and what does it signify?

EV: “Eithrael” (pronounced EEth-ray-el) came to me in a dream. It was the name of a small, white cat with a few grey spots. She told me her name was Eithrael and when I woke up the name just stuck with me. “Viola” has dual meanings. There’s the obvious translation to violet because my favorite, and pretty much signature color, is purple. The other is the Lady Viola in Shakespeare (See Shakespeare in Love via Wikipedia), a true romantic who’s quite unlucky in love.

LW: When did you start blogging? What made you decide to start? And how do you decide what to post?

EV: I started blogging about eleven years ago. I started to keep track of things going on in my life, interact with my friends and make new friends. Everything was pretty much only LiveJournal back then and was open to the public. There weren’t the overwhelming personal info and security issues back then. After a while I made my first blog “locked” so only those that I allowed could read it. I then branched out and separated different parts of myself/my life about five years ago.

I post what ever I’m thinking about, or planning, or doing, or pictures I enjoy and hope others will enjoy as well. My posts, on both blogs, vary from the really specific to the quite random. Sometimes I toss in a bit of political stuff, but I tend to keep that within my vanilla blog. I keep my NSFW (“Not safe for Work”) side almost completely separate from my ‘regular’ side. Most of my NSFW blog is kept open to the public, but I do password protect certain posts. My NSFW blog on WordPress allows me to experiment and explore parts of me that my vanilla friends and family would never understand. Plus, it’s a lot of fun!

LW: You’re stressed out. What do you do?

EV: I drive. Aimlessly. Or I go somewhere specific and take pictures.

LW: You takes photos to relax? Are you an amateur photographer? What kind of camera do you use? What kinds of things do you shoot and what do you do with the photos?

EV: I am an amateur photographer using my new 12MP Cannon “PowerShot SX130 IS.” My seven-year-old Fuji “FinePix S5100″ 4MP camera died a few weeks ago. Most of my photos end up on Photobucket as I have not yet re-set-up my personal gallery on my own (vanilla) web site. I take photos of anything that catches my eye. I love reflection shots and catching birds in motion. I love the “one random tree in a vast open field.” Sunrises and sunsets are favorites. Nature pictures, including animals, insects, landscapes, rainbows, etc. are always favorites. Especially if I can get macro shots. Candid shots of friends and family. Also, taking pictures of friends and family taking pictures when they don’t know I’m taking pictures of them.

LW: You rub a magic lamp. A genie appears who will grant you three wishes. No strings attached, best possible outcome guaranteed. What do you wish for?

EV: Unlimited money, the ability to instantly learn all languages just by hearing them, and three more wishes.

LW: The genie rolls his/her/its eyes. “No wishing for more wishes. Sorry.” Pick again.

EV: OK, for my third wish, I would choose “the ability to read minds – of both people and animals.”

LW: Let’s play a version of “The Dating Game.” Your best friend, lover, or some such significant person has already been interviewed in preparation for today’s chat. What did they say about you when asked, “What’s one thing about Eithrael that drives you crazy?”

EV: That I don’t eat meat or Mexican food. Annoys most everyone I know, on some level.

LW: You don’t eat meat? Is that by choice, by necessity, or for some other reason? Protein is important for overall health. How do you ensure that you
get enough?

EV: I stopped eating beef around 20 years ago. I find it disgusting on a texture level and animal rights level. I stopped eating the rest of the land animals shortly thereafter, for the same reasons. More so on the animal rights issues, though. I do eat some fish and shrimp. I refuse to eat lobster as I cannot bring myself to eat something that was cooked alive. I’ve never had any problems with getting enough protein in my diet as it is in nuts, fish and the “Pure Protein” bars I eat. Eating red meat is quite unhealthy in general, anyway, so it’s helpful that I find eating it to be disgusting.

LW: No Mexican food, either? Why not? How can you possibly live a happy life without burritos and nachos?

EV: No, no Mexican food. I find that 99% of it just tastes disgusting. It’s either full of meat or beans, neither of which I eat. I also do not like the spices used in Mexican foods.

LW: Hmm. All right, we’ve also interviewed a few of your enemies. Tell us what they said about you.

EV: “Strongly opinionated and fiercely loyal.”

LW: You’ve won enough money in a lottery that you never have to work again. What do your first ninety days of financial independence look like?

EV:

• Talk to an investment person.
• Quit my job.
• Set up a huge donation &/or account for votk.org.
• Pay off all my family’s bills.
• Add to or set up college accounts for my nephews.
• Take friends and family on Royal Caribbean ^(R) cruise!

LW: Nice! Vanilla, but nice. Let’s get sexy: Ben & Jerry’s ^(TM) is coming out with a new flavor of ice cream based on your sex life. What’s is called? Please describe it.

EV:  “Moooooar! – Because we always want more! … Become enveloped in the creamy white warmth of the spearmint ice cream with large savory, silky chocolate chips, perfect for rolling around your tongue. You’ll always want more!”

LW: I’d eat that. What would be the best way to eat that ice cream? In a cup? A cone? Spread all over various parts of one’s lover? [shiver]

EV: The best ways to eat “Moooooar!” would be with your fingers or off a lover using your tongue.

LW: What’s your favorite word? What’s your least favorite word?

EV: My favorite word is “Bouffant.” Least favorite is “racism.” It’s a non-word meant to incite fear. We’re all one race.

LW: Those are good words (politically correct and “G” rated), but this is a porn blog. What’s your favorite swear word or vulgar expression? Least favorite?

EV: Not sure I have a favorite swear word or vulgar saying. I do tend to use the word “fuck” a lot and I have no problem using the word “cunt” when it’s called for. I have also been known to use “festering donkey balls” many times. The only “off-color” words that bother me are words of bigotry, hatred and exclusion.

And there you have it. Want “Moooooar?” Here are some other places you can find Eithrael and her fabulous, ethical self:

• Right here on the Liquid Whispers blog
• She also maintains her own blog
• She’s on Twitter, too

I highly recommend clicking through and following Eithrael and her work. She writes some damned interesting posts on her blog and–once in a while–she posts some amazing eye candy shots, too. (See the images above and below.)

Eithrael Viola: beautiful inside and out, but she'll never quite show you everything.

Want to be interviewed for the “Ten Questions” series? Drop me a line via the Contact page! I love to sit down at the virtual kitchen table with interesting people–especially if you bring the virtual coffee.

It's easy to imagine that she's really waiting for y-o-u.

Lilyanne Bloom is waiting for you.

Take a minute to stare at this photo. She looks exactly like a woman who’s been separated far too long from her lover. She’s nude, she’s on the bed, and her hair is down. Her lips are parted and her nipples are just beginning to become erect.

She’s not going to be satisfied with just a quick fuck. This is a woman who who’s going to need your erotic attention for a long, long time. Think you’ve got the stamina to keep up with her? Are you lover enough to try?

Photo by Pornographic Love

Spelling "Errotica" with two "R's" is odd. Think of it as "Rrrrrawr!"

 Two “R’s,” Please

You’ll notice that Errotica-Archives is spelled with two “R’s.” That’s not a typo; that’s the way it’s supposed to be spelled. Errotica-Archives is a premium membership site ((Which means you’ll have to pay for access)) devoted to the work of one, particular photographer who goes by the name of Erro. Is that an artistic choice? Does it reflect a spiritual calling? Is it purely an SEO tactic? I don’t know. Maybe all of the above and then some. Whatever the reason, it’s Erro’s site and is thus called Errotica-Archives–spelled with two “R’s,” please.

A few weeks ago, I published Eithrael Viola’s review of Errotica-Archives. Long story short: both she and her girly bits thought the models were “hot as hell.” On the other hand, she had some serious issues with the site’s layout and navigation that “really took away from my ability to enjoy the site.”

Huh. This week, it’s my turn to take a look at the website. Long story short: Eithrael and her girly bits are completely correct. The models are smoking hot but the site’s navigation is a pain in the ass. In the end, I’m going to recommend the site, but first I’m going to make sure you know what kind of hassle you’ll be in for. Read on for more.

An example of bad navigation. Your first option is to "Log Out?" Really?

Pros and Cons

High Quality Pro: My first impression is that Errotica-Archives–a sister site of Met-Art–is chock-full of beautiful women. And the photography is first class. All in all, it’s high quality all the way.

Reverse Con: The website features white text on a black background. It’s generally recognized that black text on a white background is the easiest to read. Personally, the reverse coloration doesn’t bother me but some people have a problem with it. This isn’t a big strike against Errotica-Archives; it’s just something to be aware of.

Annoying Con: You have to agree to the Terms of Service when you sign up. That seems reasonable. But Errotica-Archives shoves a ToS page at you as soon as you log in… Every. Single. Time. That’s gigantically annoying.

Pro? Con? There is a newsletter available. If you give them your e-mail address, they’ll be glad to send you updates letting you know about all the site updates as soon as they happen. That means they’ll also try to sell you stuff every time they change something on the site. I’m thinking, “I’ve already paid for the membership, why would they keep trying to sell me stuff?”

Pushy Con: Along those same lines, this site is rife with links to Met-Cams. The Met-Cams program must be very profitable, because I can’t think of any other reason they would push it so hard. I wish them luck and great success. I also wish they would stop pushing that program in my face and let me watch the porn I paid for.

Hidden Prize Con: The movie page on Errotica-Archives is not well laid out. Featured movies are at the top, followed by a blank space, and then a gold mine of movie links at the bottom of the page. Why are all those good movie links hidden? I don’t know. I do know that there are eleven pages of movie links available for people who are willing to do a little digging. Or for Liquid Whispers readers, whichever. (You’re welcome.)

Do be sure to check out the movies! Although the models aren’t doing anything explicitly sexual, you’ll be so busy drooling that you won’t notice or care. (Trust me on this one.)

Particular Pro: Looking for something in particular? A model with a certain look, perhaps? Errotica-Archives has a highly customizable search engine designed to help you find exactly what you want to look at.

Just enter your preferences and--POOF!--there you go.

Bio Pro: There are brief biographies included with each model. That’s good.

Objectification Con: The bios don’t tell you anything beyond technical specifications for each model (hair color, eye color, etc.). That’s bad–at least for those of us who want to know a little about each model’s personality.

Are we looking for women or for engine parts?

Sizable Pro: Want to download the content? You can download any picture in any of four resolution sizes. You can also view the photos as a slide show or as a thumbnail gallery. The photos on the site are well done. Production values are high, the models are gorgeous, and the photographer is amazingly talented. I find no fault with the still photos.

Four sizes, depending on how fine a detail you want to see

WTF Con: The movies can be also downloaded in any of four formats but they cannot be viewed in your browser. Huh? I can’t watch the movies on a premium porn site through my browser? What the fuck is that?

Distracting Con: As Eithrael pointed out, each photo gallery has buttons for the next set or the previous set. These buttons won’t take you to more images of the same model. Instead, they’ll take you to photos of an entirely different model. (See the image for “Objectification Con,” above.) Grrr! If I’d wanted to spend time clicking aimlessly through unrelated porn pages, I wouldn’t sign up for premium site. I know what I want, I found what I want, and I paid to look at what I want. I found it extremely irritating that Errotica-Archives makes a business model (or seems to, anyway) out of distracting me from looking at the porn I paid to see.

Final Word

I’m giving this site a conditional recommendation.

As with sister site Met-Art, you’re mostly going to see slender, young, white women looking sexy but doing little else. ((I found one brown-skinned model, Adanna, in a set ironically entitled “Ivory.”)). Want to see high-end models rubbing themselves–not masturbating, just sensually caressing–in settings that look like the Palace of Versailles? This will be the site for you. Or, if you want to see those same models romping and posing in idealized outdoor scenes (no mud, no bugs, no litter), then this will still be the site for you.

On the other hand, if you want to see tattooed women who aren’t afraid to admit that they’re sexually hungry and who furthermore like to seize the kind of action they’re looking for, then you’ll need to go somewhere else. You won’t find anything of the kind inside Errotica-Archives.

Adele's waiting to see whether you're going to sign up to see more of her. A LOT more of her.